I vs. Me

You don’t need to learn how to diagram a sentence to be able to learn the rules of grammar and punctuation. Let me help you use pronouns correctly without any unnecessary jargon.

First, let’s define a pronoun: a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. We can divide pronouns into three categories:

Subject pronouns
I, you, he, she, it, we, they

Object pronouns
me, you, him, her, it, us, them

Possessive pronouns
mine, my, yours, his, hers, her, its, ours, theirs

The following rule not only makes sense but is simple.

Rule: Use one of the subject pronouns when it is the subject of the sentence.

Example: I hit the ball.
Who hit the ball? I did. So “I” is the subject.

Usually, these subject pronouns sound right to most of us.

Example: He and I will meet at the gym.
Who will meet at the gym? He will meet at the gym. I will meet at the gym. So “he” and “I” are both the subjects.

Sometimes we want to say, “Him and me will . . .” or “Him and I will . . . .” You can remember the correct pronouns by saying each pronoun alone in the sentence. It probably won’t sound right to you to say, “Him will . . .” or “Me will . . . .”

Now, this next rule is difficult because it doesn’t sound right to most of us.

Rule: Use a subject pronoun following state-of-being verbs such as am, are, is, was, were, appeared, seemed, etc.

Example: It is she.
Example: It was we who won the election.

Because we don’t speak this way, we can’t use our ear to help us with this rule. This is a good time to discuss the difference between spoken language and written language, particularly when it comes to tests and formal papers. We speak informally but must write more formally. Frankly, if I knock on someone’s door and am asked, “Who is it?” I am not going to say, “It is I” for fear that the person on the other side of the door will think I’m weird and never open up. However, if I am taking an exam or writing a report, I will try to spot these state-of-being verbs and check my pronoun usage.

The next rule does sound right to most of us.

Rule: Use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state-of-being verb.

Example: Nancy gave the gift to her.
Example: Please remind him or me.

(Remember, leave out one of the pronouns and you will be able to hear the correct answer.) Many of us have been brainwashed to believe that “I” is somehow more correct than “me.” Not so. “I” and “me” follow the same rules as all other pronouns. Would you say, “Please give it to I”? Of course not.

Example: Between you and me, I think Sandy cheated.

Again, me is not the subject nor does it follow one of those state-of-being verbs. So we must use the object case. (For those of you with some grammar background, you and me in that sentence are both objects of the preposition between.)

Pop Quiz
Select the correct sentence.

1A. Arlene asked he and I to complete the job.
1B. Arlene asked he and me to complete the job.
1C. Arlene asked him and I to complete the job.
1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.

2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.
2B. He and me completed the job for Arlene.
2C. Him and I completed the job for Arlene.
2D. Him and me completed the job for Arlene.

Pop Quiz Answers

1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.

2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.

Are you ready for the quiz?

If the article or the existing discussions do not address a thought or question you have on the subject, please use the "Comment" box at the bottom of this page.

303 responses to “I vs. Me”

I’m so glad to see the comment that the degradation of grammar is at least partly due to poorly written newspapers articles and websites. I’m wondering how long to keep “fighting” this — especially the common failure to use the predicate nominative (“it was she”). I have a college age daughter whose English prof says that sometimes incorrect grammar becomes “correct” through usage. “The language changes, Mom,” I am told. But NOT the written word, I say!

Barb, it’s true that usage does change the language or we’d all sound as though we’re reading Shakespeare. However, laziness isn’t a great excuse, is it?

Actually, correct grammar takes into account the full range of meaning, including things like tone, emphasis and euphony. English grammarians apply rules for individual words, such as pronouns, mechanically, with no regard for phrasing. Just as the French change final “je” to “moi,” for euphony, many final uses of “me” as the subject are perfectly correct in English, because the usage conveys qualities of speech not captured by word-rules disconnected from phrasing. Thus, “that’s her at the door now” is correct grammar, because “her” conveys the desired phrasing, which includes emphasis and tone. Even in writing, it would look and sound bizarre to write “that’s she at the door now,” even though the pronoun stands in a subject relationship with “that.” On the other hand, one cannot say “there’s her at the door now,” and no native speaker would say that. Everyone says “there she is now. Initial “there” and initial “that’s” lead to different phrasing. Correct grammar is important, but grammarians have fallen into the error of treating words like numbers, with fixed values in all situations. Language is not mathematics.

We agree that conscientious writers remain aware of and open to sound and phrasing as much as they do grammatical accuracy. At the same time, we believe your observation has greater relevance and application to spoken English, which is more swift and expedient in adapting to what is audibly pleasing. The “mathematical” component of written grammar gives us the time, tools, and economy to revise “That’s she/her at the door now” to “She is at the door now.”

Maybe so but “between you and I” is inconsistent with the rule as “I” is the object of the preposition here.

Regarding “between you and I/me”, I was taught to consider “between” as a literal place, rather than a figurative place. It should be treated like “beside” or “in front of”. If the answer to, “where is the table,” is, “beside me,”, then “between you and me,” is correct. As always, take the other person out of the sentence, and the correct usage should appear.

Correct George lakins, I concur with your comment on omitting a word in order to derive a correct answer. My question is, is it correct to say; John is taller than I. Or is it; John is taller than me.

If you mentally complete the sentence you would say “John is taller than I am.” Therefore, write “John is taller than I.”

Whether language changes through laziness or conscious choice is irrelevant. I’m sure we all stopped speaking like Shakespeare because it was just too much effort “laziness” improved the language in that sense. Rare are the times when language is consciously altered.

It is interesting to hear the reasons for not speaking grammatically correct that people write in to different sites I’ve visited. I personally think it is because for decades now, it has not been taught fully in schools and thus not handed down through the generations. Poor grammar is rampant in the media and you even see it in the books with which we teach our children to read. When teachers and parents alike are not speaking proper language, it can be a losing battle. People get so used to speaking slang that it becomes the new language. You mentioned that we should keep it alive in formal language, but why not in informal speech as well? Or is it too late for that? I think that if we teach the proper forms, that perhaps we can arrest the dwindling spiral of proper speech to some degree. “At least the “Me and Joe are going…” and the “I can’t see very good” type slang. It may be too late for the It is I. It is he etc. as it’s been lost for several generations now, at least in every day language(from my observations).

Do you recall all adults correcting grammar mistakes when growing up? It certainly was that way for me. At the time I did not appreciate it but now I am grateful. In the public schools in the state I live in, dissecting sentences is not taught. The whole language phenomenon, as a teaching method, is a total misstep. No phonics, no spelling tests, the idea being as long as the student comprehends what he/she is reading or writing learning is accomplished. That is half the goal and our college’s and universities do not know what to do with these kid’s. Just my opinion. Feel free to correct my mistakes!

Thank you for your comments. Good grammar and writing are not easy to master. Since you gave us permission to correct your mistakes, here is your paragraph with the errors corrected: Do you recall all adults correcting grammar mistakes when you were growing up? It certainly was that way for me. At the time I did not appreciate it, but now I am grateful. In the public schools in the state I live in, dissecting sentences is not taught. The whole language phenomenon, as a teaching method, is a total misstep. It has no phonics or spelling tests, the idea being that as long as the student comprehends what he or she is reading or writing, learning is accomplished. That is half the goal, and our colleges and universities do not know what to do with these kids. That is just my opinion. Feel free to correct my mistakes!

“Both of my parents were not well educated”… wouldn’t it be better to say, “Neither of my parents was well educated”?

Thank you for clearing up a grammar thorn-in-my-side. I remember being taught (in the early 70’s) that we are not to end a sentence with a preposition, yet I have often found it impossibly awkward to follow this rule in some cases. I’m just wondering if I was taught incorrectly or if I just misunderstood the rule. Do you know if this was taught at one time?

You were likely to have been taught incorrectly, and in some places others are probably still being taught incorrectly. Please see our post Don’t End a Sentence with a Preposition—Where Did This Myth Come From?

“Speaking grammatically correctly,” while proper formal English, is awkward. It would be sufficient to simply say or write “speaking correctly.”

I’m always hesitant to correct people’s speaking habits, but I agree that if we all heard the language being spoken properly, we would be more likely to write it the same way.

Is there a rule for determining the order of objects, ie Jim sent the notice to me and Bob, or Jim sent the notice to Bob and me. I believe there is a rule on subects that person must be given preference, ie Bob and I versus I and Bob.

The rule for choosing the case of your pronoun with “as well as” is actually simple. Just mentally complete the sentence: You know that as well as I know that OR You know that as well as I do.
Therefore, you would say or write, “You know that as well as I.”

there is a sentence which is bugging me what should i use here You know that as well as ME/I. is there any rule for as well as Thanks

The word “between” is a preposition requiring an object of the preposition (objective case) following it. “Me” is the objective case pronoun, not “I.”

I get that there are two subjects but how do you know if they are together or separate? Doesn’t the is/are convey that information? Peanut butter and jelly are delicious.
Peanut butter and jelly is delicious.

Our Rule 4 of Subject-Verb Agreement states “As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.” There are exceptions to this rule when the subjects or nouns in the sentence form a single entity or unit, collective idea, or oneness of idea. In these cases, the interpretation of “oneness of idea” is essentially up to the author of the sentence.

When you say, “my family and I are,” do you also say, “my father and my friend are”? I think the two subjects represent a single idea and should use a singular verb. Right?

Our Rule 4 of Subject-Verb Agreement says, “As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.” Compound nouns such as bed and breakfast are exceptions. “My father and my friend” is not a compound noun. Therefore, the plural verb are is correct.

I’ve been reading a book and this sentence just troubled me so much,
“No one was more amazed than she.” Is “she” correct? Because I think “her” would sound more familiar. Thanks,

Yes, the sentence should read, “No one was more amazed than she.” If you mentally complete the sentence, you would say, “No one was more amazed than she was.”

Some people who post pictures online write “John Doe and I” as the caption as if to say, “John Doe and I are in this picture,” or “This is John Doe and I.” I would prefer to write “John Doe and me” as if to say, “This is a picture of John Doe and me”? Would it be more correct to use the former with the idea that a person looking at the picture would be more likely to ask, “Who is this?” rather than, “Who is this a picture of?”

You wouldn’t say, “This is John Doe and I,” so saying, “John Doe and I” about a picture is INcorrect. You’d say, “This is John Doe and ME,” so you label pictures, “John Doe and Me.” You and John aren’t DOING anything, so “I” is wrong. If the picture were John Doe and you swimming, and you labeled/captioned the picture, “John and I went swimming,” or, “John and I were swimming in this photo,” then sure. In my opinion, a photo should NEVER be labeled, “_____ and I,” because if you took the other person out, you wouldn’t label the picture, “I”!

We have a more liberal view regarding I vs. Me when labeling pictures. We take the approach that interpreting captions beneath photographs is a matter of getting inside the mind of the creator of the album. In forming a caption, the album creator is anticipating the question and memorializing the response to “What is this a photograph of?” John and me may be shorthand for “This is a photo of John and me swimming in Lake Tahoe.” Or, John and I may be shorthand for “In this photo, John and I are swimming in Lake Tahoe.”

Change “me” to “I” because you are really saying, “It was in the same room as I was.” With “as” and “than,” mentally complete the sentence.

Please punctuate the following: between July 1 2010 and August 30 2010 the heat index will soar Many thanks for settling an argument at work.

I thought you should never end a sentence with “I”. Like, Sally went to the zoo with john and “I”. Shouldn’t it end with “me”?

In your example sentence, the object pronoun me is correct. There are sentences that end with I. Example: It is I.

In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates ~ “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?

In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” ? One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?

The money came from him and me. The money came from he and I. The money came from Taryn and me/I. Which is correct?